


How Robbie Rotten Stole Christmas

by nuttersincorporated



Category: How the Grinch Stole Christmas! - Dr. Seuss, LazyTown
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mayor Meanswell is only mentioned. He doesn’t show up. Robbie robes him., Robbie and Sportacus kiss under mistletoe, Very light Sportarobbie, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:25:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8828545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuttersincorporated/pseuds/nuttersincorporated
Summary: Every person up in LazyTown liked Christmas a lot…But Robbie (who lived just under LazyTown) did NOT!
Robbie Rotten hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
A re-write on Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas story/poem with Robbie in the role of the Grinch.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this from this Tumblr post http://fandomhopper7.tumblr.com/post/154331862797/ok-but-imagine-this-a-sportarobbie-au-the-grinch about an au of the Grinch movie. This isn't an au of the movie but it is a rewrite of the book.
> 
> As Stefán Karl Stefánsson said, "Keep memeing."

Every person up in LazyTown liked Christmas a lot…  
But Robbie (who lived just under LazyTown) did NOT!

Robbie Rotten hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!  
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.  
Or that the love is his heart wasn’t terrible bright.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,  
Was that the puppets never invited him to their Christmas ball.

Whatever the reason, be it his head or his heart,  
He sat on Christmas Eve, wishing the holiday wouldn’t start.

From down his lair, watching them with his periscope,  
Robbie saw LazyTown’s excitement and started to mope.

For he knew all the people in LazyTown above,  
Were all filled up with Christmas love.

“And they’re giving presents!” he snarled with a sneer,  
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”

Then he cried tears of sadness as he hugged himself tight,  
“Why should  _they_  enjoyed Christmas, it just isn’t right!”

Why should he be left out and always excluded,  
When the blue elf called Sportacus was gladly included?

Tomorrow, he knew, all the puppet girls and boys,  
Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!  
That’s one thing he detested! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the puppets, young and old, would sit down to a feast.  
And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They would all feast on turkey and Sports Candy too.  
Robbie Rotten couldn’t stand it, this just wouldn’t do!

And THEN they’d do something Robbie hated himself!  
Every resident up in LazyTown; each puppet, human and elf,

Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.  
They’d stand hand-in-hand. And then they’d start singing!

They’d sing! And they’d Dance! And they’d SING!  
SING, DANCE AND SING!

And the more he thought of this whole ChristmasSing,  
The more Robbie thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”

“Why, for too many years I’ve put up with it now!  
“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!  
ROBBIE ROTTEN GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

“I know just what to do!” Robbie laughed deep in his throat.  
And he put on his Santy Claus disguise (a red hat and coat).

And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great villain trick!  
“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”

“All I need is a reindeer…” Robbie Rotten looked around.  
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop Robbie Rotten? No! Robbie simply said,  
“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”

So, he made a Christmas-Maker-3000 and threw in some holly,  
Out came a robot reindeer which was programed with jolly.

Robbie Rotten, despite claiming his distaste,  
Loved the reindeer instantly and called him Cringle-face

Then he loaded some sacks on the back of Cringle-face,  
He hitched up a sleigh and they flew out of his base.

Then Robbie Rotten said, “Giddup!” as the sleigh flew around,  
And they landed on the house of mayor of LazyTown.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.  
The people inside were all dreaming without care.

“This is stop number one,” the evil Robbie Claus hissed with a frown,  
And he wobbled across the roof, not daring to look down.

Then he slid down the chimney. A silly thing you’ll agree.  
_‘But, if Santa can do it,’_ Robbie reasoned, then so could he.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.  
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

Where the Christmas stockings all hung in a row.  
“These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,  
Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!  
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then he, very nimbly,  
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

In the kitchen, he stole the all the food which was terrible jerky,  
He started with Sports Candy and then the roast turkey!

Then he chuckled, “With no Sports Candy around,  
“Mr Flipity-Flop will be forced to leave town!”

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.  
Why, that Robbie even took their last can of potato-mash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.  
“And NOW!” grinned Robbie, “I will stuff up the tree!”

Robbie Rotten grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,  
When he heard a small sound like the soft coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and saw a small human girl!  
Stephany Meanswell, in her pink nighty, was cute as a pearl.

Robbie Rotten had been spotted by the mayor’s niece,  
Who’d got out of bed when he’d broken the peace.

She stared at Rotten Claus and said, “Santy Claus, why,  
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”

But, you know, that Robbie Rotten was so smart and so slick,  
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

“Why, my sweet little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied,  
“There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.

“So, I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear.  
“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,  
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

And when Stephany went to bed with her cup,  
Robbie went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.  
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food that he left in the house,  
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then he did the same thing to the other LazyTown houses  
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other LazyTown mouses!

It was quarter past dawn… All residents were still a-bed,  
When Robbie Rotten finished packing his sled,

It was filled with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!  
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Down to his lair Robbie Rotten and Cringle-face flew!  
He’d keep all their presents then he’d watch what they’d do!

In LazyTown he’d left not so much as a Christmas twig.  
Robbie Rotten was so pleased, he did a small jig.

“Pooh-Pooh to LazyTown!” Robbie sang, almost humming.  
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!  
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,  
“Then the fools up in LazyTown will all cry Boohoo!”

“That’s a noise,” grinned Robbie, “That I simply MUST hear!”  
So he paused and Robbie Rotten put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.  
It started in low. Then it started to grow.

But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!  
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!

Through his periscope, Robbie looked on with wonder!  
As LazyTown’s resents sang out with voices like thunder!

Every person up in LazyTown, the tall and the small,  
Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Robbie Rotten, with his mind numb as snow,  
Sat puzzling and puzzling: “How can this be so?”

“It came without ribbons! It came without tags!  
“It came without packages, boxes or bags!”

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.  
Then Robbie thought of something he hadn’t before!

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.  
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

And what happened then? Well…in LazyTown they say,  
That Robbie realised they’d never excluded him from Christmas day!

He’d always been welcome, the invitation went unspoken,  
And suddenly, his heart felt a little less broken.

And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so terribly tight,  
He whizzed with his load back up to the bright morning light,

He brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!  
Robbie Rotten was no longer a Christmas beast.

“Robbie Rotten!” the town’s folk joyfully greeted,  
They forgave his transgressions and his heart farther heated.

He gave them their presents and put back the decorations,  
Robbie hung up the mistletoe with no hesitations.

He wasn’t expecting the kiss from Sportacuse that he got,  
However, Robbie couldn’t deny that he enjoyed it a lot.

With friends all around Robbie Rotten felt suddenly dandy,  
He stayed for the feast and HE HIMSELF ate Sports Candy!

**Author's Note:**

> For those who don’t know; Stefan Karl, the actor who played Robbie, is reserving treatment for pancreatic cancer. There is a GoFundMe page here https://www.gofundme.com/2tm9tqk to help play his medical bills.


End file.
